Moments
by CreativityZero
Summary: Moments can define a relationship, whether they be moments of love, humor, drama, or loss.
1. Hot Dogs

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or Square-Enix.

Author's Note #1: See Profile.

Author's Note #2: 'Memories' is in no sense of order except that of what I feel like writing. I wrote down a list of moments, and I'm going to write whatever seems appealing. Hopefully, this won't be too confusing, and most of the moments aren't gonna be huge (say, 'I love you', or, 'Rinoa's pregnant') anyway.

–

"The hot dog line again."

Squall sighed. He had forgotten it was Wednesday, the day of the Lord Hot Dog. It had occurred to him over the last year as Commander that he could enforce laws dealing with the hot dog rush. Limiting hot dogs to one per person, simply making an over-abundance of hot dogs, striking hot dogs off the list (this he thought of seriously, but feared the uprising), or, the simplest of his ideas, to let he, the Commander, be the official line-cutter of the Garden. But anytime he thought of it, usually on Wednesdays as he was stuck behind the line, he also thought it was a horribly silly, childish idea, and dismissed it.

It really was tempting, though.

It occurred to him that he was merely standing in the middle of the doorway, and with a frown in the direction of Zell, who stood halfway in the line, decided to take his seat and wait for the line to die down, so, perhaps, he could order something simple. Like a soda. He chose the seat of the Trepe Followers, or whatever they're called, and put his feet up on the table. Trepe Followers. Heh. Perhaps he should've worried for Quistis' safety, seeing as she had, pretty much, stalkers, but he felt confident in her abilities. After all, while there was certainly something _endearing_ about a teacher in leather wielding a whip (and he had, admittedly, thought about Quistis' peculiar dress in some not-just-friends terms), there was also something terribly frightening about it, too.

Squall allowed himself to lean back. It didn't give much of a view, but at least he was focusing on something. Like not falling over. _How amazing would that be. The Commander falls off a chair in front of largest crowd possible._ 'The Commander'. A hand went to his face. He didn't appreciate the title. The responsibility. The idea he was becoming Cid. Maybe he should quit. Go back to being a SeeD...or whatever SeeD was anymore. Sorceress-destroyers? Yeah, right. If they were, they were pretty bad at their job, seeing as the sorceress currently lived inside the Ga-

Squall panicked as he felt something pull his chair, hands immediately grabbing the seat and feet hitting the floor. His heart was beating out of his chest. "Fuc-!"

"Hi."

He was cut short by a brunette's confident smile. 'Cut short' as in biting his teeth together as his heart beat faster and his stomach did flip-flops. Rinoa. "...Rinoa." He tried to sound disapproving, but judging from the way she slid her hand across his shoulders before comfortably sitting down, he judged he didn't sound very disapproving at all. Perhaps it was the mini panic attack he was recovering from.

"Scared you, huh." She leaned against the table and propped her chin on her palm. Staring at him. He turned his head.

"...not really. Just reflexes." Rinoa didn't say anything to that, to which he guessed meant she was still staring at him. She liked doing that, just to make him uncomfortable. And if he tried to challenge her, she'd wave her hands in front of his eyes and metronome, 'You're going to like me, you're going to like me...'"

…

...he scooted his chair underneath the table, resting his elbows comfortably on the fake marble. He was careful to focus his attention on Zell, who was next in line, but was forced to turn his head as Rinoa shook his arm.

"I thought you said you eat lunch at 1."

"...12:55." It was 12:50. He knew that because he hadn't done much else at work ('work') but look at the digital clock sitting at his desk. "I finished early."

"What a coincidence, so did I."

"You don't _do_ anything here."

"Nu-huh." She pulled her hand back from his arm and idly tapped on the table. "I'm talking to Cid about what I can do. E...Matron suggested teaching, but I'm not much of a teacher. Cafeteria lady was also suggested, but that doesn't sound too appealing either. And I think I'd be pretty bad at being a secretary."

Squall smiled at her. "So you just want to be spoiled."

"..." She peered at him and raised a finger. "Look, mister, if I wanted to be spoiled, I wouldn't have run away from a gigantic mansion. I'd be playing Barbie Doll for my father at cocktail parties."

He raised an eyebrow at the mention of her father. They had tried talking about it before, and the farthest he's gotten is getting her to admit he's her father, and not just 'that man'. It was obvious their relationship was more than stereotypical teenage girl angst, though admittedly that was his first thought. Usually it was his policy not to bother people about their personal life, but he wanted to know Rinoa. Wanted to help her. Unfortunately, he was too afraid to ask about her father anymore. She withdrew when the subject arose, and he was still afraid she'd leave him at a moment's notice.

She had grown more agitated at the thought of her father, obviously, as she turned her head and angrily blew a strand of hair off her face. Squall let his fingers tap on the table, along with hers. He tried to dispel the thoughts of her father, and instead thought of Rinoa. It did amuse him that Rinoa would hate jobs. He supposed it was because 'regular' jobs didn't involve rebelling against the government.

"Ever thought of being a SeeD?"

"...yeah. But I wouldn't want to be. Being told by other people what to think and do, not having any action of your own..." She shrugged. He should've expected the answer, though. Rinoa had said almost the exact same thing when he told her of their contract. That was over a year ago. He breathed in. He was about to hate himself for asking this question, but he wanted to know. Even if it meant disappointment.

"...what about going back to the Forest Owls?"

The pause after the question startled the butterflies in his stomach again. _...she's thought about it. More than that, she's just going to do it._ _Go back._ His fingers stopped tapping, as did hers. _...why did I ask?_

"...I've thought about it, ye-"

"S'up."

Both turned to their attention to Zell, both not at all surprised to see he had lost out on hot dogs yet again. The blonde grabbed a spare chair and twirled it around, sitting on it backwards, shoulders slumped. "That hot dog line is killer, man."

Squall wanted to punch him. Or maybe hug him. He wasn't sure if interrupting Rinoa was a good or bad thing. Rinoa, on the other hand, had apparently forgotten about the question, and moved in closer to the table to comfort Zell.

"Ever think about getting the library girl to secure more hot dogs?"

"Well, sure. But I don't want to take advantage of her for being nice."

Rinoa smiled, and even Squall knew what exactly she was smiling about. Both of them were there, nearly a year ago, when the library girl had nervously noticed Zell, and proceeded to blush and excuse herself awkwardly. Zell, of course, hadn't noticed, and was still oblivious to the girl's affection for him. "...honestly, Zell. Don't you recognize girls?" Though, was he really one to talk?

"...well, I mean. I _recognize_ them...why not? Wait, is....is she not a girl?" Zell's eyebrows furrowed as he leaned closer to Squall, listening intently for what was sure to be a huge Commander-only secret. Rinoa covered a laugh with her hand, and Squall looked at Zell with obvious agitation. "...w-what." Zell grinned nervously.

"...shouldn't you be doing something right now." _Yes, you should. As in, go do something. Now._

"Naw, I'm done for the day."

"...then go train." _Just go._

"I can't train on an empty stomach!"

"I think, I _think, _you'll be just fine."

"...." Zell sat up, realizing that he had interrupted something. "...did...Uh. Oh. Sorry. I'll be...in the Training Center." He left, nearly bumping into the library girl on his way out.

Squall rested his cheek on his fist. Zell could be annoying, but should he have sent Zell away so easily? An awkward silence hung in the absence of the third party. All because he had to bring up the Timber Owls.

…_.it's not like the topic wouldn't have risen. She's not going to forget._

Squall cleared his throat. "...do you want lunch?" With Zell's refusal from the lunch lady, the rest of the line had gotten the idea and cleared out, too disappointed in their bad luck to eat anything else the cafeteria had to offer.

"...only if you know what I like." He heard the joking tone in her voice, but the fact he didn't know a lot of her favorites kind of bothered him, anyway. Almost in defensive of his lack of knowledge, Squall straightened up in his chair.

"I'll guess."

"You'll guess wrong. I just want something to drink."

"...right." He walked to the fountain drinks, filling two cups, cursing himself. _What the hell was I trying to defend? Shit, fuck._ One of the cups had tipped over, sloshing most of its contents onto the floor and onto his hand before he could pick it up. He heard Rinoa's laugh behind him, to which he flushed and tightened his jaw. Shaking off his soda-covered hand, he picked up the remainder of the cup along with the other one and walked back to their table, trying his best to keep his composure. He set the full one near her, and, with some reluctance, set the sticky, half-full one near him.

"...I hope you know I'm giving you a break on this whole boyfriend thing because you're, well, you." Squall looked at her.

After giving her the non-sticky cup, that's what he gets? "What's wrong?"

In turn, Rinoa looked at him, like he should know something, with her eyebrows raised and her lips pursed.

He felt that remarking on how spoiled she looked wasn't appropriate at the moment.

When he stared blankly at her, she showed him the contents of the cup. He looked, figured it was alright, and shrugged. With obvious dramatic effect, Rinoa rolled her eyes and replaced the cap. "It's diet. Do you think I'm fat?"

…_._

_...n-no?_

"...n-no?"

"You paused. That means you do." She sat back in her chair, and he was relieved to see she was smiling. "I'm just playing with you. I can't believe you stuttered, though. It was so cute."

"...whatever." He sipped his soda, ignoring the sticky texture of the cup. Honestly, the only reason he got Rinoa diet was because he got himself chose diet. Who wanted the extra calories?

"...you know I'm not leaving, right?"

Squall stared at his cup, eyebrows furrowed. He wanted to say 'yes', and even more so, mean it, but he _was_ constantly afraid of her leaving him. Quite honestly, he felt like a child. He sighed. "...sure." He sipped his soda. What did she expect him to say?

"..." Rinoa stretched, obviously about to change the topic of conversation. "So, Selphie's planning another Garden Festival. You probably don't read her diary?"

"Sometimes" He continued to stare at his cup.

"Well, she wants our help, and I sort oooof...told her we'd help." She smiled innocently at him, but he was too busy counting the bubbles in his soda to notice.

"...alright."

"Great!" Squall looked up, realizing he had agreed to something. _...least it's making her happy. _Rinoa clasped her hands together and smiled. "Well, we should probably help her now." She grabbed Squall's hand, and, while he was glad he was making her happy, he had to pull his hand back.

"...I'm still hungry."

"You can eat later, Commander." She tugged at his hand again, and with some reluctance, Squall stood up and walked with her. "You should watch how much you eat, anyway. Not that I think you're getting _fat_, or anything, with all your diet coke...."


	2. The Past

Disclaimer: Square-Enix nor Final Fantasy belong to me.

You all should go listen to _Meditation Field _from _Paprika_. It's fun!

Btw thanks for the reviews and alerts n' stuff! It makes me feel _super special awesome_.

"I can't really remember her."

At the moment, Squall's arm was growing a bit tired, as it had rested underneath Rinoa's head for the past half hour. But as she stared at his vanilla ceiling with her eyebrows furrowed, he didn't really care his arm was losing blood. His bed sheets lay mostly off the bed. It was summer, and for the most part, his air conditioning didn't work. Not that he really minded. Rinoa had gotten into the favor of wearing less and less clothes as the days wore on.

Not that he was really looking.

"Nothing?"

Rinoa shook her head and turned into him, laying a hand on his chest. It relieved his arm. Kind of. "I was five. Mostly I remember my fourth birthday when I ripped my toenail off on our steps."

"Pleasant childhood memory."

"Painful enough to remember." She blew a strand of hair away from her face. "My mother was always nice. I wasn't focused on remembering her forever. I mean...I thought she'd _be_ there forever." She plucked at his shirt fabric and bit her lip. Squall turned his head to look at her, incredibly aware of how close her face was to his. It wasn't as if they had much room to be away from each other, in his twin bed. And he had gotten used to being close to her, sleeping with each other on occasion. But without her initiating the kiss, smiling at him, snuggling into his neck...

He was very aware.

"...any pictures of her?"

"...a few, I guess. There were more, but he hid a lot of them. Or threw them away." Obvious agitation lay in her voice, and Squall regretted asking. It wasn't his business, but he didn't want her hating her father any more than she already did. Not because he wanted them to be buddy-buddy and to resolve any daddy issues she might have...but just because any time he was brought up in conversation she'd stop being Rinoa. Happy Rinoa. Not even bi-polar teenage Rinoa. Just stubbornly fussy.

"The ones that you know about?"

She seethed and attempted to control herself. "...she just. Looked a lot like me."

If Squall were any more of a romantic, any more of a sociable creature, he would've responded, 'Beautiful like you?' Unfortunately, Squall only thought about it, and instead chose to move her stray band of hair away from her face before she could get annoyed. He was surprised his arm still had nerves.

"...and she looked happy."

_Why wouldn't she?_

"...I remember thinking that was odd." Rinoa shifted onto her back, still close to Squall. "I think it was because of her song. Y'know, 'Eyes On Me'?"

Squall's first reaction was to feel a bit pained that she would think he forgot the song. Honestly, he had forgotten a lot of it, but he remembered her singing it to him on the Ragnarok. What stopped him from turning his head away was the slow realization that she had just said it was her mother's song.

Squall wasn't really into music.

Without any reaction from Squall, Rinoa looked at him with an, 'are you serious' look. "'Eyes On Me'?" He shrugged slightly. As much as his trapped arm let him. "...it was like. On the charts for a year. Even Zell knows what it is, and it's a ballad."

To that, Squall let himself turn his face away from her, only to stare at a blank wall. "I guess Zell's more cultured than I am." A voice mocked him inside his head. _Talking to a wall, Squall?_

"He just gets out more than you."

"...what-"

"Whatever."

Squall looked at her, obviously peeved, to which she only grinned at him before returning to stare at the ceiling, clearing her throat to make the point she was going to continue despite his lack of knowledge. "Well, it didn't sound like it was about my father...no, it wasn't. She told me it wasn't." She smiled, and Squall was glad whatever she was thinking about was pleasant. Too often her childhood led to frustration or sadness. "...said it was a secret. It wasn't like she was cheating, though. It was about a lost love...said he went off to war."

"...sounds more like a fairy tale."

"....guess so." She continued to stare at his ceiling. He continued to stare at her. Every day he knew her he felt like he was learning so much about her. A person. Not just a rebellious teenager...but someone with a full life, someone with situations that affected who they were now. Her mother, her father, the man his mother loved before, the car crash, leaving home...

Squall had never wanted to know someone as much as he did now, for her.

"What?"

"...what?"

"You're staring at me."

With the way she was looking at him, through the corner of her eyes and a bite of the lip, he smiled a bit. "I'm being a good listener. Mother, eyes, cheating." She frowned but didn't say anything, instead returning her attention to the ceiling. "...so you still miss her?"

"Well, duh." _...should it be that obvious?_ _I don't miss my parents._ Not that he knew anything of them. Memories like flashes of light resembling his mother...but that was it. Could Rinoa remember any more than that? Could he? "I mean. Like I said...I don't remember much. But I remember what it's like to be hugged by her. To just sit on her lap as she read a book...or something. It was..._warm_. Safe. Comfortable." _….I remember that, too_. "...I never felt like that with anyone else. Well."

_...me._ She didn't say it. Didn't make any gesture toward him. But, and maybe he was fooling himself...she was going to say, '_except you_'. No. He really was fooling himself. Dating for not even a year, no mention of love, no mention of the future or commitment. There was nothing to make him think she was going to say that.

_...except maybe the whole 'Sorceress and Knight' thing._

"It's hot in here." An obvious attempt at changing the subject. Squall didn't mind. Even if he was sure that's what she was going to say, that she felt _that_ comfortable with him, he wasn't sure enough not to fear rejection. So, instead of ignoring her statement and asking her to continue her train of thought, Squall grunted in agreement, sighed, and slowly slipped his arm back from underneath Rinoa's head. The prickles began.

"I can open the window."

"We won't get sucked outside?"

"...I. I don't think so."

"...then you really should have done that in the first place."

Squall didn't bother arguing with her, pointing out the fact that it was she who barged into his room (locking his room seemed to have no effect...he was starting to get worried whenever she _wasn't_ hovering over him at least a few times a week) and kissed him, telling him how great she felt and suggesting they take a nap together.

...it was hard to believe a year ago Squall would've freaked over that.

Awkwardly, and with a laugh from Rinoa, Squall managed to roll over her and onto his floor. He pried open the window and let his elbows rest on the sill, enjoying the wind as it rushed past his face. The Garden hadn't much need to move lately, instead choosing a temporary resting place next to Balamb. The townspeople didn't seem to mind. Squall guessed it was because their sons and daughters were a walk away.

Squall looked back to see that Rinoa had closed her eyes. He leaned against the window, content on watching her, though he would've preferred a thanks, admittedly.

"...you know what else?" 

"...what?" She hadn't opened her eyes.

"...I miss my father."


	3. Triple Triad

Disclaimer: I don't own Square-Enix or Final Fantasy.

Thanks for the reviews and +story alerts n' stuff. As always, it makes me feel _super special awesome_.

"So what about Irvine and Selphie?"

Squall turned her card over as she asked, flipping it to show he was now in possession of it. Rinoa had turned out to be a particularly bad Triple Triad player, and so far Squall had collected about ten cards from her deck. She didn't seem to mind, however, and was more intent on gossiping than playing. Squall supposed that's what happens when you're rich enough to buy any card you want. Or maybe it was a girl thing. Without looking away from his own hand of cards, Squall replied, "They're not even official yet, are they?"

"You're sounding more like a teenager everyday." She placed an Abyss Worm card down idly. He ignored her statement and place his own card down, effectively flipping the Abyss Worm over. "It's not like, _official_, but everyone knows something's going on."

"How do you figure?" He put his left leg on top of his right knee and held it there, looking at the remainder of his hand as he did so. A soft, barely audible song played from a speaker above them, the only sound in the library. If it wasn't a weekend, Squall would've worried for his students lack of reading, but as it were, he didn't care. They were currently seated at the table lining the back wall of the library. They faced each other, but Rinoa was the only one looking away from the cards. He was too busy figuring out his strategy.

"Well, not that I listen to a lot of conversations..." Squall snickered at this, as he knew for a fact Rinoa was far from being respectful of private conversations, but his humor earned him a kick from Rinoa. "_But," _She put extra emphasis on the word, signaling she was smoothing over his snicker. "Even I notice whenever you can't find one, you can't find the other. It doesn't get more suspicious than that. Your turn."

Squall delicately selected a card and placed it down, flipping two of hers. "Not to sound naïve, but they could just be having fun. Friend fun. It is _Selphie_ we're talking about."

"I guess..." Rinoa's eyes moved to the table, where she took no apparent notice of the score. "But it'd be about time they get together, right? Irvine's head over heels for her." She placed a card down, and Squall frowned as it flipped three of his own. "And while Selphie doesn't like to admit it..." She let her words trail off. Squall didn't want to suggest that Rinoa might be wrong, that Selphie might not be admitting it simply because she didn't feel it, but he supposed they talked to each other more than to him. Plus, it would probably earn him another kick to the shins.

Squall didn't respond immediately, instead noting how both of his cards left him no advantage whatsoever. Which irked him, since he was so sure he had this game in the bag...he placed one of the two cards down. Nothing happened. The score remained tied. "Maybe you should intervene. Play matchmaker." _You like to do that with people. Y'know, people like me and you._

Rinoa rolled her eyes at him, and Squall had to second-guess whether or not he had said that out loud. Surely a comment like that would've warranted another kick, not just an eye-roll...she placed her last card down, flipping his own, and smiled brightly at the game. "Looks like I won. I'll take this, thanks." With one swift movement, she swiped his Quistis card off the table, leaving Squall to only stare at the game. The game he was sure he would win, because it started off great, he had the better cards, and Rinoa was terrible at Triple Triad. She had lost the last ten games, hadn't she? Or...she hadn't planned on this, right? Because he had only brought out his big cards after the ninth card he won from her...

Eyes still fixated on the game, not _believing_ his luck (the card had taken him quite a few games with the Trepe club, and a few sob stories afterward), Squall only took his eyes off as he felt something pointy hit his knee. Rinoa had leaned forward and stabbed him with the card, and with one look, Squall knew he was in some sort of trouble. She had the all-too-familiar eyebrow raise and set jaw. If he wasn't so concerned on what he had done wrong, he would've wondered if all women were schooled in the expression.

"Why do you have this card, anyway?"

"...uh. It's a good card."

Rinoa flipped the card to look at Quistis' stats before flipping it back. "Not as good as mine. And you probably had to go through a lot to get this card, what, with her club..."

Squall fidgeted. He knew where this was going. Or maybe it had already gotten there. "I have yours, too." He thought that was the right thing to say. Apparently he was wrong. When had they gotten so comfortable with each other she could play the jealous game?

"Oh, well, then _that's_ okay." Squall picked up on the sarcasm in her voice, having once been the king of the language. She leaned back in her chair and smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "I guess I can just keep this, then." She paused. "I'll probably give it to Seifer, actually. He's been asking about her, and I'm sure he'd love a picture."

Squall set his jaw at the mention of Seifer. The name didn't aggravate him as much as it once did, but he still didn't like the guy. And he definitely didn't like Seifer's name coming out of Rinoa's mouth. Even in the most casual circumstances he always heard 'my ex-boyfriend who I never really had closure with' whenever she would say his name. But now she was using it in a game of jealousy. His arms crossed, and he looked away from her. "Whatever."

"Gosh, Squall...I think you're jealous." The note of amusement in her voice irked him.

"Yes, I am." Squall hadn't meant to let that come out. 'No, I'm not' was his usual response, and one he was perfectly happy with. But, right now, losing his Quistis card, losing to Rinoa in a game of strategy, Rinoa knowingly annoying him...he felt an odd mix of anger and possessiveness. He forced his eyes back onto her, something he would've never been able to do a year ago. "You thought you loved him." The scene of her, holding her legs, admitting it, played back in his mind. He hadn't cared then. Or maybe he did, but not like he did now. And despite everything they went through, despite all their time dating...she never talked about her feelings, or lack thereof, for Seifer. Which meant there was still a chance she'd go back to him. Still a chance she'd leave Squall.

Squall forced himself to not look away, even at Rinoa's eyes softening. She seemed to understand what was he was thinking, though he himself couldn't find the words. Didn't want to find the words. Of course it was their link that made her understand, but Squall was relieved nonetheless. To know Rinoa could understand him...

It had scared him once. Now, it was a comfort.

"You know I don't love him anymore." Her words were soft, and Squall had to realize how much she had matured, as well. "I never did. I told you that, didn't I?"

"...you thought about it. It was never. Final." His stony demeanor dropped, and he found his words soft, as well. Maybe he shouldn't have felt so secure after a few words, but the confidence in her statement, her soft eyes, the voice filling his head, _'I love you, it's always been you_'...the walls that had once taken the fear of death to tear down now broke at her soft words. Whatever had scared him but a moment ago was now forgotten, and he found himself smiling.

Rinoa leaned forward again, but this time, it was to simply place a hand on his leg. She was smiling, cheerfully. "Well, it is. So there. Now quit being a surprisingly jealous boyfriend." It was an attempt to keep things light, and at that very moment, Squall couldn't have loved her more. He wanted to tell her, tell her how much he loved her understanding nature, or how much he loved the softness of her eyes, how she could make him feel so safe, how he wasn't afraid anymore, all because of her...but the words stuck in his throat. They always did. But he didn't have to worry about saying anything, as Rinoa was already moving on, making him love her all the more.

"So...you can have this back. I mean, I kind of cheated to get it. Making you think I was bad..." Her smile turned into a sly grin, and she held the card out in front of her, offering him to take it back. But he shook his head.

"I don't want it. I have you."


	4. Breakthrough

Disclaimer: Square-Enix nor Final Fantasy belong to me.

Two years and an update? I'm on a roll. Forgive me for typos and non-coherent anything, because these little tidbits are purely for fun, not for me to agonize and self-critique and review. But I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

"Favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Why?"

Squall fidgeted at the question and looked elsewhere as he figured out an appropriate answer. The cool breeze that was almost constant in the town of Balamb relieved some of the heat of the sun as it bore down on them. It wasn't his idea to eat outside. It was hardly his idea to visit Balamb. But, as it were, Squall had become used to following Rinoa around, going where she wanted to go and doing what she wanted to do. What's worse, it wasn't the fear that Rinoa would turn on him, yell at him, sulk at him, bother him until he did what she wanted (he would've liked to think she had grown out of such immature ways, but they cropped up in the most convenient times). No, it was that he _wanted_ to be with her. All the time.

Not even a year. Five months until a year. And he had already fallen in love with her. _No. Not in love. Well...yes. Damn it. I don't know._ He cleared his throat, more so to clear his mind than remind himself he was supposed to answer a question.

He knew why it was his favorite, of course, but he wasn't about to admit it to her. Thinking of love...thinking of her, both, together... "...I don't know. Why's your favorite color your favorite color?"

"Because it reminds me of the good times. It's red, by the way. Deep red." He looked to her, finally, and felt a little ashamed at the sickness he felt in his gut at the mention of love. He wanted to love her, he could admit to that, but whenever he thought of being with her, all the time, admitting it, saying it out loud...he knew it was fear, but it always came off as disgust in his gut. Yet Rinoa wasn't even looking at him. Her left hand held her cheek as her right hand flipped through the few pages of the menu on the table. She wasn't doing anything to scare him. She was just being her, and he loved that. But his gut wrenched again, and the feeling of disgust returned as quickly as it disappeared.

He loved her, and hated it. He wanted to make her happy, yet he wanted to see her cry. He wanted to be happy, but he felt sick. Was this what love felt like? _Is she...does she feel the same?_

"What?"

He blinked. She had stopped looking at the menu and was now looking at him, eyebrow raised. With a start he realized he hadn't taken his eyes off of her, and quickly glanced downward to his own menu. "...nothing."

He could feel her eyes narrow at him, but she chose not to say anything.

They continued on in silence, she, no doubt, simply enjoying the breeze and the sun while leisurely deciding on her lunch. Him, with a thousand thoughts popping in and out of his head, so tempted to take the menu, hold it to his face, and simply walk away. Words on the menu simply didn't compute, and his hands itched to run themselves through his hair. Or just simply cover his face for a full minute before he yelled something incoherent yet angry to her and then help him run across town to rent a car and drive as far away as possible.

"You guys decided?"

Squall jumped a little in his seat at the voice, but immediately thanked whoever was looking out for him for the distraction. For someone who lived most of his life inside his own head, at the moment, he wanted something else to focus on. Anything. And the plump woman holding a pen and pad would have to do.

Despite what he thought was the most excruciating minute of looking at a menu there ever was, Rinoa seemed unaffected, and handed her menu to the woman before telling her she would love some fish. They then both looked at him, and Squall found himself unable to string together enough words to make a sentence. A moment passed, and Squall slowly said, "...the same." The woman shrugged, made a note, and said something about being back in a few minutes.

"I thought you didn't like fish."

"I...don't. I do." He gave into temptation and rested his forehead on his hand. Right now, he would pay to be anywhere but there. The thoughts, the emotions, they weren't new. The feeling of being the most excited _and_ the most frightened he's ever been in his life weren't new. But they never crept up when Rinoa was around him. Even if they were spending time together, quietly, he usually felt so peaceful. What was so wrong about today? His hand went through his hair again before rubbing his neck. The heat was unbearable. Or maybe his brain was, at the moment, sensitive to any heat.

"Are you alright? You've been acting weird since we ordered our drinks." Squall didn't bother to look up. He could imagine her face, and that was enough. Worried. Joking. Confused. Any and all and none. _You're so beautiful. Why can't I tell you that? Why does it feel wrong just thinking of it_? His hand went to his forehead again, this time as another thought passed through his brain. It was something he tried not to think of, tried to think didn't matter, but he had learned their...emotions...sometimes their thoughts could be felt by the other. And the last thing he wanted Rinoa to know was everything he was thinking right now.

"Ooookay..." He realized he hadn't answered, but he wasn't sure he cared. "So...I'm guessing Zell is visiting his mother. Don't they live a few houses down?" Squall managed out a 'yeah'. "And Irvine and Selphie...you think they're together?"

_...together?_

"No." His words came out harsher than intended. He quickly cleared his throat, but didn't let up the firmness of his voice too much. "I don't think they're together. Why would you think that?"

"Oh...I dunno...the fact Irvine's been in love with her since they were kids maybe." A little bit of agitation seeped into her voice. Squall liked that. Liked that she wasn't entirely in control. Liked that she had a fiery nature, that she _would_ fight back. Fight.

"So? If they were destined as kids, I'd be with Quistis." He wanted a fight, but even he was surprised to play the jealousy card. Looking up to see Rinoa's face, he was a little smug that it seemed to be working, although he knew she was attempting to look like it was not.

"No, I'm pretty sure Quistis would be with Seifer. You, I think, would be alone." Her sickly sweet smile at the last word should have angered him. The mere mention of the word 'alone' should have hurt him. It didn't. It made him smile that she was fighting back, though he was sure not to show it on his features. "Besides, I meant 'together' as in fr-"

"If Quistis would be with Seifer, Irvine would be with Selphie...I'm kind of all you got, aren't I?"

Rinoa's mouth shut, and Squall could feel her eyes turn into tiny daggers of ice. Squall couldn't help but be amused, but he knew he couldn't show it. Rinoa would love the fight, not admitting to it of course, and Squall would play the defensive boy as she bullied him into believing she was right, though he usually never _really_ did. Smiling at this point would ruin the whole thing, but that's exactly what Squall wanted to do. Smile. Kiss her. He loved...this. Them.

"No, I still have Zell." She raised her chin in defiance, but the slight bite of her lip gave it away; even she knew how absurd that statement was. Squall couldn't help but smile, the slightest bit, and attempted to cover it up by ducking his head and putting his hand across his mouth as if to rub his chin thoughtfully.

"Y...yeah...you with Zell. Sue me if I can't see that happening." He couldn't help the initial laughter that snuck into his sentence, but managed to keep a straight face for most of it.

"Go ahead and laugh. You're just lucky I chose you at that ball."

"I thought I was 'the most handsome guy here'?" He raises his eyes to see her reaction to that once more, and smiled as she attempted to roll her eyes and cross her arms in disbelief, but couldn't help the smile on her face. She caught his eye, bit back a smile, and finally conceded.

"I think it was the ball," She began, jokingly. "No one else was even decent, really. You were the best of the mediocre." She smiled at him, lightly, softly, and after a moment, he smiled back.

"You were. You were beautiful."

Squall didn't think before he spoke those words, but he found he didn't regret them. The surprise on her face and the blush she tried to cover with a hand running through her hair was worth it. Had he hated this feeling of being so close to somebody only minutes before? Had it really felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders because of her? Had being in love with her seemed so terrible?

"Rinoa?"

She looked up at him, her blush disappearing as she looked at him, waiting.

"My favorite color is blue...because of you."


End file.
